RELATIONSHIP 2: ADULT CHILDREN
One woman complained about the way her husband tends to side with his adult
children and refuses to acknowledge that they treat her unkindly. “My
fury escalates so fast,” she says. How can you keep relationships with
the adult children from damaging your marriage?
A key to success: Show empathy. Try to understand and identify with the other person’s feelings. Adult
stepchildren may fear losing their parent’s affection. Or they may feel
that by welcoming a stepparent, they would be disloyal to their original
family. Meanwhile, parents might worry that criticizing their children
will push them away.
Instead of trying to force a friendship, let
your relationship with your stepchildren develop naturally. In general,
it is unwise to try to coerce or pressure someone into feeling real
love. So try to set reasonable, realistic expectations when it comes to closeness with your stepchildren. Do not say everything that you think or feel, even if you are mistreated.
If you decide to live in the house that the
children were raised in, you may be surprised at the attachment they
still feel toward it. Try to minimize changes, especially to their old rooms. You could also consider moving to a new residence.
TRY THIS: If your adult
stepchildren are persistently rude or disrespectful to you, share your
feelings with your mate and listen carefully to his or her thoughts. Do
not pressure your mate to correct the children. Instead, simply try to
build mutual understanding between the two of you. Once you “think in
agreement” about the situation, you can work together to improve it.
Try to show love to all the children in the family
Next I will be writing on;
