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What if I Just Don’t Fit In?

What you can do

First, identify the type of people you find it most challenging to fit in with.

Age:

I don’t fit in with . . .
  • peers
  • older youths
  • adults

Performance:

I don’t fit in with people who are . . .
  • athletic
  • talented
  • intellectual

Personality:

I don’t fit in with people who are . . .
  • confident
  • popular
  • in a clique
Second, pick the statement that describes your typical reaction to being with the people you identified above.
  • I pretend to have similar interests or abilities.
  • I ignore their interests and talk about my own.
  • I stay quiet and look for the first opportunity to leave.
Third, take the initiative! You can’t always expect people to reach out to you; sometimes you have to reach out to them. How can you do that?
Look outside your age group. Think about it: Why limit yourself to one age group and then complain that you can’t find friends? That would be like starving to death on a desert island when there are fish swimming all around you!
Develop conversational skills. The key is to (1) listen, (2) ask questions, and (3) show genuine interest.

As for me, I try to be a listener rather than a talker. And when I  talk, I try not to talk about myself or put others in a negative light:-)


BASICALLY DON'T OVERDO IT!
  • Talk BUT don’t hog the conversation
  • Ask questions BUT don’t pry
  • Be friendly BUT don’t flirt
  • Be confident BUT don’t brag

     

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