What if People Are Gossiping About Me?

 Gossip quiz

1. You discover that a friend has spread gossip about you. How easy is it for you to ignore what happened?
   
   • No problem
     
   • Difficult
     
   • Impossible
     
2. You discover that a friend has spread gossip about you. How easy is it for you to approach your friend (calmly) to discuss the problem?
   
   • No problem
     
   • Difficult
     
   • Impossible
     
3. You discover that a friend has spread gossip about you—and you have some juicy but negative news about that friend. How easy is it for you to keep from retaliating?
   
   • No problem
     
   • Difficult
     
   • Impossible
     

If you answered “difficult” or “impossible” to any of these questions, this will help you discover better ways to deal with gossip.

Why it hurts

Some gossip is malicious—for example, a lie that is a deliberate attempt to ruin your reputation. But even if the gossip is less serious, it can still hurt—especially when it’s spread by someone you thought was close to you!

Truth is: Whether the person spreading the gossip is a close friend or not, it’s no fun to learn that other people are saying bad things about you.

The bad news—you can’t always prevent it.

People may gossip for a number of reasons, including these:

Genuine interest. Humans are sociable creatures. So it’s only natural that we talk to (and about) each other.

Guys lets be honest, people are always the most interesting subject to talk about! Do you agree?

Someone once told me “I have to admit, I like knowing what’s going on with people and talking about it with others. I have no clue why—it’s just fun.”

Boredom.  There are people who would spend their leisure time at nothing but telling something or listening to something new.

Insecurity. The tendency to compare ourselves with others. Unfortunately, some people deal with their insecurities by spreading negative gossip.

Negative gossip usually says something about the gossipers. It often means that deep inside they’re envious of the person they are gossiping about. They spread rumors to feel better about themselves, to convince themselves that they’re better than that person.”

Truth is: Like it or not, people will talk about other people—including you and I.

The good news—it doesn’t have to paralyze you

 You probably can’t prevent all gossip about you, but you can choose your response to it. If you learn that rumors about you are going around, you have at least two options.

OPTION 1: Ignore it. Often, the best solution is simply to let it go—especially if the rumor is frivolous.  

A good reputation is the best weapon against gossip. Even if a bad rumor about you goes around, when you have a good reputation, few people will believe it. The truth about you tends to win out.

Tip: Write down (1) what was said about you and (2) how it made you feel. Once you have had “your say in your heart,” you may find it easier to let it go. 

OPTION 2: Confront the person who started the gossip. In some cases, you may feel that a rumor is so serious that you really need to talk to the person who started it.

If you approach the people who are gossiping about you, they may learn that what they say eventually gets back to the victim. Plus, you can clear the air and hopefully settle the problem.

Tip: Before confronting the gossiper, write down what you plan to say. Then wait a week or two, reread what you wrote, and see if you want to make any changes. Also, discuss your plan with a parent or a mature friend, and ask for his or her advice.

Truth is: Like many things in life, gossip is something you can’t always control. But that doesn’t mean it has to control you! 

Lets hear your experience:-)