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Struggling With Fatherhood - How to Be a Good Father

Admittedly, it is not easy to be a good father. But there are basic principles that can help

 1. Make Time for Your Family

As a father, how do you show your children that they are important to you? Surely there are many things you do for your children, including the sacrifices you make to feed them and provide them with an adequate home. You would not do such things if your children were not important to you. 
Yet, if you do not spend significant amounts of time with your children, they might conclude that you care more for other things, such as your job, your friends, or your hobbies, than you do for them.
Fathers are encouraged to spend time with their children on a regular basis.

2. Good Fathers Are Good Communicators









Listen calmly without being judgmental
In order to communicate effectively with your children, you must be a careful listener. You need to cultivate the ability to listen without overreacting.

If your children think that you will lose your temper quickly and be judgmental, they will have little incentive to express their inner feelings to you. But if you listen to them calmly, you will show that you are genuinely interested in them. They will in turn be far more likely to share their precious thoughts and feelings with you.

 3. Give Loving Discipline and Commendation

Even when you feel frustrated or angry, the discipline you administer should be an expression of loving concern for the long-term welfare of your child. It includes advice, correction, education, and chastisement when needed.  There have been ongoing debates on how far parents should discipline their children. Just recently, Minnesota Vikings suspended their star running back Adrian Peterson amid an outcry over charges he abused his son by beating him severely.

Discipline is much more effective when a father commends his children regularly. An ancient proverb says: “As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.” Commendation enriches a child’s character. Children blossom when they are acknowledged and appreciated. A father who looks for opportunities to give commendation will help to build confidence in his children and motivate them not to give up trying to do what is right.

4. Love and Respect Your Wife










The way a father exercises his role as a husband is certain to affect children. A very good friend who is a mother of two said “the best gift from father to their kids is to treat their mother with respect.” One of the best things a father can do for his children is to respect their mother. . . . A father and mother who respect each other and let their children know it provide a secure environment for them.

 

It is obvious that there is more involved in fatherhood than these five points and that, realistically, even when you try your best to be a good father, you are not going to be a perfect one. But to the extent that you apply these principles in a loving and balanced way, you really can be a good father.

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