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Do Manners Really Matter?




‘People don’t open the door for me; why should I do it for them?’
‘Aren’t there more important things to worry about than saying “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me”?’
‘I don’t need to show manners to my siblings. We’re family.’

Do any of those statements sound like something you would say? If so, you could be missing out on the benefits of showing good manners!

What you should know about manners
Good manners can improve the following three areas of your life:
1.      Your reputation. How you treat people makes an impression, for good or for bad. If you are mannerly, people will likely view you as mature and responsible—and they’ll treat you accordingly! If you are rude, however, people will conclude that you are interested only in yourself, and you could end up being bypassed for employment and other opportunities
2.      Your social life. That is certainly true when it comes to friendship. People are drawn to those who are mannerly and who treat them well. After all, who would want to be in the company of someone who is rude or obnoxious?
3.      The way people treat you. If you are always polite, over time, you may see improvement in the way even the most consistently rude people respond to you. Of course, if you are rude, you may get the opposite response. “With the measure that you are measuring out, they will measure out to you.” (It’s that simple!)
Bottom line: Social interaction is a part of daily life. How you handle it can affect how people view you and treat you. Put simply, your manners really matter!

How to improve
1.      Take a manners inventory. Questions such as: ‘Do I address adults respectfully? How often do I say “please,” “thank you,” or “excuse me”? Am I distracted when talking with others—perhaps even reading and responding to text messages? Do I treat my parents and siblings with respect, or do I take liberties just because “they’re family”?’
2.      Set goals. Write down three areas in which you could improve. For example, a very good friend said that she needs “to be a good listener rather than a good talker.” A Colleague says he needs to work on not texting while with family or friends. “It’s disrespectful,” he says. “I’m basically telling them that I would rather talk to someone else than talk to them.” And a 17 year old says that he needs to stop interrupting others as they speak.
3.      Monitor your progress. For a month, track your speech or conduct in the areas in which you want to improve. At the end of the month, ask yourself ‘How has my being mannerly made me a better person? In what areas do I still need to improve?’ Set new goals accordingly.
Remember: “Just as you want men to do to you, do the same way to them

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