Nothing
seems more helpless than a newborn baby. When we came into the world
our security depended entirely on our parents. When we learned to walk,
we met strangers who towered over us like giants. They frightened us
unless our parents were close at hand. But we felt safe when we grasped
the hand of our mother or father.
During
childhood, our well-being depended on the love and encouragement that
our parents gave us. When we realized that our parents loved us, it
reinforced our sense of security. When they assured us that we were
doing well, we felt more confident and we made progress.
As
we got a bit older,
close friends also provided additional security. We
felt comfortable in their presence, and they made the school
environment seem less intimidating.
Those
thoughts, of course, describe the ideal childhood. Some youngsters find
few close friends, and too many children receive scant parental
support.
PROBLEMS OF AN INSECURE UPBRINGING
Maybe
you lacked confidence during your formative years. Perhaps you received
little love and encouragement. Possibly, you remember the constant
fights between your parents that led to the breakup of their marriage
How
may an insecure child react? Some turn to drugs or binge drinking
during their teenage years. Others join gangs in search of a sense of
belonging. Insecure teenagers may jump into a romantic relationship,
seeking love and affection. But these relationships rarely last long,
and the breakup often causes even more insecurity.
Vulnerable
teenagers who avoid such major pitfalls may still grow up with little
sense of self-worth.
Our
upbringing is not the only cause of insecurity. We may feel insecure as
a result of a traumatic divorce, the trials of old age, or even concern
about our appearance. Whatever the cause, it can rob us of happiness
and damage our relationships with others. What can we do to overcome
those feelings?
Show love and kindness to others.
Showing
love and kindness to others builds lasting friendships. It is even said that "there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.”
And we will doubtless discover that the more love we show, the more we
receive. “Practice giving, and people will give to you.”
By giving and receiving love, we feel much more secure.