Attraction is about more than just how someone looks, and applies to friends and potential customers just as it applies to romance.
There are things that make you smile or feel butterflies that have nothing to do with someone’s physical appearance, and just the same there are small things that can really turn you off. I know that my heart melts when I see a person interacting with their dog, because it really shows you the kindness of their character.
Conversely, a guy who is rude to wait staff on a first date can be dismissed for his disrespectful attitude. Most of attraction, romantic or platonic, is based on behavioral patterns.
These are the top 7 ugliest habits that make you undesirable to others as a friend, business acquaintance , or romantic partner.
These Nasty Habits Make You Less Attractive, and Here’s How to Avoid Them
Behaving rudely towards others
For very obvious reasons, behaving rudely or snidely towards other people can be a real turn-off. Nobody is in a happy, chatty mood all the time, but it never hurts to engage people in polite conversation for a few minutes. If you act kindly towards people you come across, you’ll establish a positive reputation and open doors for yourself socially, professionally, and romantically. Even a simple smile and a “How are you doing?” goes a long way.
Making everything into a competition
We’ve all known that person who obsessively competes with everyone, always needing to one-up you regardless of what it. That person is really annoying. There’s a time and place for competition, and social interactions are not it.
I once went to the beach with a group of friends, and one of the guys that my buddy brought along spent the entire day trying to one-up everyone in conversation. I started talking about a girlfriend of mine who is really into doing hula-hoop tricks, something that has become really popular among young women at music festivals. He clearly knew nothing about it, but claimed to own a $300 light-up hoop and to be an avid hula hoop dancer. It was really embarrassing for him, because everyone there saw it as a desperate attempt to gain approval and seem superior. If he had just been honest and sincerely interested in listening to me tell about it, he could have saved face. Other than his competitive push, he was a genuinely interesting guy and could’ve easily won my attention had he been himself.
So remember: save your competitive nature for sports, work bonuses, the classroom, and family game night (it is totally appropriate to want to whoop your sister’s butt at Monopoly).
Constantly complaining and doing nothing to solve the problem
It’s no secret that hearing others’ complaints can be irritating and really change your opinion of that person. When I hear people loudly complaining in public, all I can do is wonder why they aren’t spending their time seeking a solution to the problem rather than lobbing their negative comments towards anyone who will listen.
In fact, one of the qualities I find most attractive about some of my favorite people is their solution-oriented thinking. Whenever I have a problem, whether it involves school, career decisions, or my social life, my parents have always been the first two people to want to help me come up with a solution rather than just echo my complaints about the situation. Their solution-oriented philosophy is one of the traits I admire most about them as parents and business people.
Acting like you’re better than everyone else
The best leaders I’ve known in my life, from professors to coaches to employers, have all been exceptionally humble people. An attitude of superiority really rubs people the wrong way and makes them less likely to want to associate with you.
Try to keep in mind that every person you come across has strengths and weaknesses, and has had a unique life experience that you likely know little about. Perhaps they’ve faced challenges you couldn’t imagine overcoming yourself.
Interrupting others while they’re speaking
It goes without saying that being interrupted while you’re speaking is one of the most frustrating situations. Instead of respecting your right to speak your piece, somebody has cut you off, implying that their thought is more important than yours. If you know how this feels, you understand why it’s a huge turn-off to other people when you interrupt them. Practice patience when talking to people and wait for them to complete their thought before responding. You should also avoid interjecting yourself into conversations between other people where your participation is unwelcome.
Being a poor listener
When you’re inattentive and dismissive of what others are saying to you, you’re essentially telling them that you don’t care enough about what they have to say to listen to them complete a thought or express a concern. This can obviously lead to hurt feelings, miscommunication, and arguments.
It’s important to show others that you are engaged in what they’re saying. Ask clarification questions, maintain eye contact, and offer comments when appropriate. People really appreciate someone who can listen to them express themselves without judgment or interruption.
Creating problems for the sake of creating problems
Plenty of people stir up drama when seeking attention from others, but inevitably just put themselves in unpleasant social situations. This is a pretty obvious one– nobody likes dealing with totally preventable conflict. Avoid gossip and escalating minor inconveniences into problems involving lots of people.
Don’t do those things!
To charm and influence the people in your life, whether it’s your boss or your significant other, simply avoid those 7 nasty habits and focus on treating everyone with an attitude of kindness, patience, and respect.
