Misconception: Child abusers are usually strangers, deranged misfits who abduct children and use physical force to abuse them.
In the vast majority of cases
Misconception: Children fantasize or lie about sexual abuse.
Under
normal circumstances children lack the experience or sophistication in
sexual matters to invent explicit claims of abuse, although some small
children may become confused about details. Even the most skeptical of
researchers agree that most claims of abuse are valid. Genuine sex abuse of children is widespread and the
vast majority of sex abuse allegations of children are likely to
be justified (perhaps 95% or more). Children find it enormously
difficult to report abuse. When they do lie about abuse, it is most
often to deny that it happened even though it actually did.
Misconception: Children are seductive and frequently bring the abuse on themselves by their conduct.
This
notion is particularly warped, since, in effect, it blames the victim
for the abuse. Children have no real concept of sexuality. They have no
idea of what such activity implies or of how it will change them. They
are therefore incapable of consenting to it in any meaningful way. It is
the abuser, and the abuser alone, who bears the blame for the abuse.
Misconception: When children disclose abuse, parents should teach them to refrain from talking about it and to ‘put it behind them.’
Who is best served if the child keeps silent about the abuse? Is it not the abuser? In
fact, studies have shown that denial with emotional suppression may be
the least effective way to deal with the trauma of abuse. If you
experienced a terrifying assault, would you want to be told not to talk
about it? Why tell a child such a thing? Allowing the child the normal
reaction to such a terrible event, such as grief, anger, mourning, will
give him the opportunity eventually to put the abuse in the past.