WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Annette’s
attacker threw her to the ground before she realized what was
happening. “I tried everything I could to fight him off,” she says. “I
tried to scream, but only air escaped my lungs. I pushed, kicked,
punched, and scratched. And that’s when I felt a knife pierce my skin. I
went completely limp.”
If you were in a situation like that, how would you react?
STOP AND THINK!
While you might be prepared
Some people like Annette, are assaulted by a stranger. Others are attacked
by an acquaintance or even a family member.
YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME
Annette
still deals with feelings of guilt over what happened. “I keep playing
that night over and over again in my head,” she says. “I feel as though I
should have tried harder to fight him off. The fact is, after being
stabbed, I was paralyzed with fear. I couldn’t do anything more, but I
feel that I should have.”
If your feelings are similar to those of Annette, keep foremost in mind that a person who is raped is not a willing participant. Some
people make the issue seem less serious, using the excuse that it is
normal for boys to act that way or that victims of rape were asking for
it. But no one deserves to be raped. If you were the victim of such a
heinous act, you are not to blame!
Of
course, reading the statement “you are not to blame” is easy; believing
it may be much more difficult. Some hold in their feelings about what
happened and suffer from guilt and other negative emotions. But who is
best served by silence
TELLING YOUR STORY
You may benefit from doing the same. Talking to a trusted confidant can
help you to come to terms with what happened and help you to gain
relief from overwhelming emotions.
Your feelings might be too heavy for you to carry by yourself. Why not get help by talking to someone about them?
Annette
found that to be true. She says: “I talked to a close friend, and
I’m glad I did. she sat down with me on several occasions and told me
exactly what I needed to hear
You too can find that there is a time to heal. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Get needed rest. SEXUAL HARASSMENT QUIZ
“In middle school, boys would pull on the back of my bra and make derogatory comments—like how much better I would feel once I had sex with them.” —Coretta.
Do you think that those boys were
- Teasing her?
- Flirting with her?
- Sexually harassing her?
“On the bus, a boy started saying nasty things to me and grabbing me. I smacked his hand away and told him to move. He looked at me like I was crazy.”—Candice.
What do you think this boy was doing to Candice?
- Teasing her?
- Flirting with her?
- Sexually harassing her?
“Last year, a boy kept telling me that he liked me and that he wanted to go out with me, even though I constantly told him no. Sometimes, he rubbed my arm. I told him to stop, but he wouldn’t. Then, while I was tying my shoe, he smacked my rear end.”—Bethany.
In your opinion, was this boy:
- Teasing her?
- Flirting with her?
- Sexually harassing her?
The correct choice for all three is C.
What makes sexual harassment different from flirting or teasing?
Sexual harassment is one-sided. It continues even when the victim tells the person to stop.
Harassment is serious. It can lead to sexual violence.