Today, sex is everywhere—on TV, in
movies, and plastered all over advertising. It seems that the only place the
subject is still considered taboo is in conversation between parents and
children. Often, parents are just as reluctant as
their children to broach the subject.
If you are a parent, you need to take a
different stance. Indeed, it is crucial that you personally talk to your
children about sex. Consider three reasons:
1. The sexual landscape has
changed. There is no longer the quick definition of sex—a husband and
wife having intercourse. Now, there is oral sex, anal
sex, cybersex, even ‘sexting’ over the phone.
Really, talking to your children
about sex is part of your responsibility as a parent. True, it may
be awkward, both for you and for them. On the positive side, many children want to learn.
Unless they live in total isolation,
children begin hearing about sex at an early age. Sadly, many
children are exploited by adults for perverted sexual purposes.
For preschoolers:
TRY THIS: Train your child to respond
firmly if anyone attempts to play with his or her sex organs. For example, you
might teach your child to say: “Stop that! I’m going to tell on
you!” Assure your child that telling is always appropriate, even if
the person promises gifts or makes threats.
For primary-school children:
TRY THIS: Have frequent, short
discussions instead of one big talk. This way
you will not overwhelm your children. Furthermore, as they grow up, they will
have the information they need as they mature.
For adolescents:
Caution: Teens may hold back from
asking questions because they fear that their parents will suspect them.
”
Granted, talking to your children about
sex may be one of the most awkward parenting tasks you will face. But it is
well worth your effort.
Today, sex is everywhere—on TV, in
movies, and plastered all over advertising. It seems that the only place the
subject is still considered taboo is in conversation between parents and
children. Often, parents are just as reluctant as
their children to broach the subject.
If you are a parent, you need to take a
different stance. Indeed, it is crucial that you personally talk to your
children about sex. Consider three reasons:
1. The sexual landscape has
changed. There is no longer the quick definition of sex—a husband and
wife having intercourse. Now, there is oral sex, anal
sex, cybersex, even ‘sexting’ over the phone.
2. Your children will
likely be confronted with misinformation at an early age. They will hear
about sex as soon as they start school and they
will not get the viewpoint that you want them to have.
3. Your children have
questions about sex but are not likely to initiate a discussion with
you.
Really, talking to your children
about sex is part of your responsibility as a parent. True, it may
be awkward, both for you and for them. On the positive side, many children want to learn.
Unless they live in total isolation,
children begin hearing about sex at an early age. Sadly, many
children are exploited by adults for perverted sexual purposes.
It is therefore important for you to start
educating your children while they are still quite young. If you wait till
they’re nearing their teens, they may
not want to speak openly because of the inhibitions that come with puberty. The key is to give children information that is appropriate to their age.
For preschoolers:
Focus on teaching the proper names of the
sex organs, and emphasize that no one should touch these organs.
TRY THIS: Train your child to respond
firmly if anyone attempts to play with his or her sex organs. For example, you
might teach your child to say: “Stop that! I’m going to tell on
you!” Assure your child that telling is always appropriate, even if
the person promises gifts or makes threats.
For primary-school children:
Use these years as an opportunity to add
to your child’s knowledge gradually. Test the waters before having a talk. See what they already know and whether they
want to know more. Don’t force the discussion. It will likely come naturally if
you regularly spend time with your children.
TRY THIS: Have frequent, short
discussions instead of one big talk. This way
you will not overwhelm your children. Furthermore, as they grow up, they will
have the information they need as they mature.
For adolescents:
Now is the time to make sure that your
child has sufficient knowledge of the physical, emotional, and moral aspects of
sex.
Caution: Teens may hold back from
asking questions because they fear that their parents will suspect them.
”
TRY THIS: Instead of confronting your
adolescent with direct questions about a particular matter regarding sex, ask
how his or her classmates view the matter. For example, you might say: Many
people today feel that oral sex isn’t really sex. Is that how your schoolmates
feel? Such indirect questions are more likely to get your adolescent to open
up and express his or her own views.
Granted, talking to your children about
sex may be one of the most awkward parenting tasks you will face. But it is
well worth your effort.